


This is Us, Continued

by ultrasuperfangirl



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 12:02:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1304191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultrasuperfangirl/pseuds/ultrasuperfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn stops by Rae's house early Friday morning for a cup of tea. Which wouldn't be strange except he drove two hours from Leeds to do so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is Us, Continued

**Author's Note:**

> I have had this scene rolling around in my head for a couple episodes now and I had to get a version of it down in writing for fear that I may burst otherwise. First time writing and posting fan fic of any kind. (In other words, please be gentle.)

They sat together silently at the small kitchen table, listening to the water for tea slowly build to a boil. With Linda and Karim at a doctor’s appointment, the house was empty but for Rae and Finn. As they sat silently, not looking at one another, that emptiness seemed to filter down from each room and into the kitchen, weighing down and filling the small space between them. He had appeared on her doorstep with nothing but the clothes on his back and asked casually for a cup of tea, so she invited him in, put on the kettle and sat staring past him, not sure what mess of emotional brambles were about to be unfolded in front of her. 

Finn’s eyes were downcast, staring into his hands lying cupped in his lap as he finally broke the pregnant silence. “How do you feel about me, Rae?”

She knew what he was really asking, but Rae did her best to dodge the question and lighten the mood. She tried desperately to build some padding up around what was currently an exposed nerve with a noose around her heart. “Well, you’ve shown up to my house at 9 o’clock on a Friday morning when you are supposed to be working in Leeds, so I’ll be honest that I’m wondering a bit about whether you haven’t lost your mind…” 

“No.” Finn interrupted, his voice growing more insistent, but still quiet. His eyes finally found hers. “I didn’t drive almost two hours for tea so we could bullshit each other and continue dancing around everything we never say. No more jokes. No more tracing out words so we don’t have to say them. You said “to be continued.” This is us, continued. So I need you to answer me, Rae. When you look at me - think about me. How do you feel?”

Rae remained silent, knowing how she felt, but unable to make the words come. The world started to twist and turn in front of her eyes as thoughts and feelings tried to clamor their way out of her and were met with resistance at the back of her lips. She sat paralyzed and listened to the sound of a clock on the wall ticking down the silent moments, which felt like hours.

Finn’s eyes registered her panic. He saw the love, the hate, the angst and desperation hiding behind her eyes. Amidst her silence and the quiet intensity that traced itself throughout every line of her face and the tensing of every muscle, he could see that the desperate need he had for her was only matched by the need she felt for him. 

“Rae, I understand that you struggle with seeing yourself the way other people see you. That it’s hard for you to believe that you deserve the love that people feel for you. I know that you think you broke it off with me to do me a favour. But if you actually care for me at all, doesn’t what I want matter? What about what I deserve?” 

He paused for a moment, worried that his voice might falter; determined to resist the impulse to look away. His breath became shallow, but he somehow managed to punch forward with the words he had practiced over and over again in his car on the way to her door. “Don’t I deserve to be allowed to love you?”

Rae’s words sat like a lump of clay in the back of her throat. She felt her eyes betray her as they finally burned and began to water. Finn’s eyes never left hers as tears started to trail their way down her cheeks. The floodgates had opened and she was certain they would never close.

He continued, shifting forward in his seat slightly to catch Rae’s eyes as they threatened to look down towards her feet. “Because that is what I want to do, Rae. I want to love you. And I will. More than anyone ever could. For as long as you will let me and probably more.”


End file.
